Posts Tagged With: be happy

Mindset

In order to look forward with a clear vision, I think it’s a good idea to look back. New Year’s becomes a “thing”, picking your word of the year, resolutions, stuff like that. I like it, and I think it is necessary for many people, as long as the vision doesn’t become blurry and you forget what you believed in so clearly on January 1st. I don’t remember what my “word” was for last year, so evidently, that’s not a good method for me. I’ve VERY successfully used phrases for my “year mantra”, and it was life-changing in a good way, but it just won’t work for me now.

This year is different. I want something different. I want to feel differently. 2018 was not a good year for me for many reasons, but I think it is necessary to have years like that, or difficult times. Coming out on the other side of darkness has its benefits, for sure. It certainly wasn’t the worst year ever and I still consider myself extremely lucky. But it still sucked, overall. You always have the opportunity to learn from past mistakes or having to overcome some obstacle(s). I decided that I wasn’t going to pick a word for the year; I’m choosing a mindset. It’s an all-encompassing feeling that I’m searching for, that I’m striving for, really. You tend to get what you put in the universe, right? If you put positivity out, you will attract it.

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I’ve never found a shark tooth before. But I wished it when walking on the beach, and lo and behold, I found one. Here it is, laying on my marathon training plan.

There are so many good things that occurred in 2018. My kids are doing well, my oldest turned 16 and is working, my husband is happy at his job. I started coaching cross country, my elementary coaching is in high demand. I got a big marathon PR and truly felt the training result and the glory and the pain of a strong finish. But it came with a lot of woulda shoulda coulda situations from that entire experience. The two injuries that followed were probably preventable and sent me into a mini depression, but going through that gave me a lot of insight and reinforced how lucky it is that I can do what I do. It was one of two, or maybe even three, big experiences of the year where I kept quiet and I shouldn’t have. Woulda. Shoulda. Coulda. All I can do is take that and apply it in the future. I can’t dwell on it.

Do you ever think about situations and often come up with the best response at least 24 hours AFTER the conversation has taken place? For me, it’s usually a week post-conversation when I get the, “THAT’S WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID” feeling. That was pretty much me in all of 2018. So what can I learn from it? Well, the biggest takeaway for me, is to not rehash any conversation in my mind and get upset about what I COULD have said that would have either ended the particular conversation or situation, or could have made me out to be super smart. Isn’t that what we’re usually looking for anyway? As I cleaned my house up from the holiday family fun, I was reminded of how silly it is to waste time on these imaginary conversations. As much as I want to be heard, as much as I want to be right, as much as I want the other person to KNOW that I am right and they must at least acknowledge what it is I’m saying, it’s just. Plain. Silly. To waste another minute on it. I think part of me is the little girl, standing there, just wanting someone to acknowledge her. Just see her. Just listen to her……Just see me. Listen to me. Like the Stands With A Fist character in “Dances with Wolves, I want to stomp my foot and be heard. But it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes the softest voices can be the loudest. Sometimes you have to walk away.

Instead of sitting there and spinning webs of imaginary situations and conversations, it’s time to let go of hurt feelings, of wanting to be accepted, of wishing away things, of regrets, of missing the unsaid words. It’s time to let go, and look forward with a very laser sharp view of the future. As I sit here in the dark room because it feels like the sun will never come out again, I think about being happy instead of depressed from the bleakness and brownness of the outdoors. I can be transformed from thoughts, and that’s my first step in being mindful of making my own self happy. Happier, anyway.

What am I going to do in 2019 to make myself happier? First of all, I’m in the beginning of training for the Boston Marathon, and if anything makes me happy, giddy almost, it’s thinking about running in general, but specifically in Boston. This will be the third time, and I’m hesitant to make a big goal, but I think I’m going to anyway. Why not? If it doesn’t’ work out, then it’s still running the Boston Marathon, right? I’m going to give the next few weeks of training my best, and I’ll see if it’s a truly realistic goal.

The second thing that would make me happy, but I have literally zero control over, is seeing Clemson win the National Championship against Al…..allll…..aaaaa…. I can’t even say it. The other team. Go Tigers!

I’d like to take on a really big goal. A few big goals. I have a plan for the fall, and it might be really stupid, but I’m the kind of person that will look at it and say, “I can do that”. If my 3rd triathlon was a full ironman, then anything is possible.

But overall, it’s about spending time with people I care about, doing the things I care about, being the best version of myself, being kind while still speaking my mind, staying away from drama, learning from the past, applying that knowledge to now, and remembering that every day is a gift from God, every day there is always something to be thankful for. Happy 2019 to everyone! May this be your best year yet!

Categories: anything is possible, Boston Marathon, coaching, follow your dreams, ironman, marathon, marathon training, running, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

18 Miles, A Smile, and A Relay

Yesterday was my longest run in over a year. Training Peaks (Coach Kristen) said to do 2.5 hours with this after warm-up: 4 x 15 min at 7:50-7:55 pace then 1 minute walk and 9 minutes easy after each; finish strong.   After a week of cold and more rain, it was beautiful out. Here’s my view on the drive to Wrightsville, where my nice long route (complete with a water fountain so I don’t have to carry water) is.

On my way to run. Yes, I pulled over to take this picture.

On my way to run. Yes, I pulled over to take this picture.

I tried grits as a pre-run meal, as opposed to a banana and oatmeal, just to shake it up.  This is the time to try different things, so I figured I might as well. They sort of sat a little heavy, so I think I’ll stick with my normal oatmeal and banana.

I started out at an 8:15 pace and knew I needed to cool it a little or I’d burn up since I’ve been in heavy training mode since the Myrtle Beach 1/2. Well, I didn’t cool it and I was sizzling, almost close to burning up at the end of my 2.5 hours, er, 18 miles.  I was SO close to 18 at 2.5 hours so I went a whole two minutes over to get to that mile mark. I can’t imagine any other runner does that, hmmmm?

During the first half of the run, I was in a happy place. Things were feeling good, but I noticed my Garmin was all over the place. At one point during a pick-up, it read 8:15, but I knew it felt faster. I maintained the pace and all of a sudden, Garmy said I was going 7:40. WTF? Really? Most of the pick-up times averaged 7:30-7:40 instead of the prescribed pace, and I knew I would be EXHAUSTED when I was done, but I kept with it for most of them. I marveled at the fact that some people run marathons at that pace, and they run marathons at much, much faster as well. I just can’t imagine.  I finished as strong as I could, but I did utter a few swear words near the end. I realized my new shoes were going to be too narrow to keep and that I have a new irritation, a spot that’s hard to identify, so I’ll call it the “inside of my Achilles but not really my Achilles but near that and my ankle” spot. Calling doctor to get in for any manual therapy he can do to help the mystery spot. And for an adjustment to be sure I’m running straight. That always helps.

I also noticed there were a lot of GRUMPY people out and I didn’t get it. It was beautiful out, they were at the beach, what is there to be grumpy about?! You may wonder why I knew they were grumpy??? Well, I don’t know how many people I passed who didn’t look at me, didn’t acknowledge my existence, didn’t say one word, blink, stick their tongue out, NOTHING.  It was almost as bad last week. I always at least try to look at people when I pass, say “good mornin'”, smile, or put my hand up a little just to show I see them. Sometimes when I’m at the end of a pickup, all I can muster is a “hmmtpfht” or a smile that probably looks more like I’m trying not to pass gas, but at least I try.  I passed tons of people who didn’t flinch when I said “mornin'”. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.  I even passed someone from my running group, a fellow blogger, who didn’t even look at me, just kept on a going.  What the heck?!

I beg of you, use your runnerly manners and just acknowledge people when you pass. Blink hard at them, say “eh”, put your finger up (even the middle one since then at least that’s some form of communication), SOMETHING. What I started doing was when I passed someone who was a big huge Grinch, I stuck my tongue out and made a sour face after they passed by. It made me laugh and it was my way of getting back at them.  Don’t let that be YOU.

Once I got done running, I stretched in the parking lot and headed home for this:

Starbucks coffee and a 49 degree cool down.

Starbucks coffee and a 49 degree cool down.

I was achy so figured this would help, but then I took a 200 degree shower for three hours. I didn’t hear of a water shortage in my area, so that’s good. I did tons of stretching and have done more again today to work the kinks out. Now I get to go shoe shopping again since both pairs are just too narrow. I’m trying not to freak out because Boston is in SIX WEEKS!!!!

Next week is a big test for me.  I’m running two legs of the Quintiles Wrightsville Beach Marathon Relay, which is right around 16 miles, at marathon pace.  I’m nervous based on how I felt yesterday, but I have two days off this week, only one speed workout, and won’t do pick-ups during the race.  My goal will be to keep a steady pace and to feel good when I’m done. This is a pancake flat course, so it will be much, much easier than Boston, so here’s hoping it goes as planned!  I’m working on pre-race fuel to make sure I feel good and don’t have any GI issues like I did in Myrtle.

Happy training!!

Categories: Boston Marathon, marathon, running, training for marathon, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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